My Victory Over Pornography

My Victory Over Pornography

Hey guys and welcome back. Been a minute here but guess who is officially done with the semester……me!!!!

And so this means I will be very present here over the summer till at least school resumes. I try my best to do a good job during the semester but, you know how it is. Anyways today I am going to be sharing with you my testimony over the bondage of pornography. Yeah you read right porn.

First of I want to give the Lord Jesus Christ all the glory!!!

 because my struggle with porn was real but Jesus love for me was realer (if such word exist). And I know this might not be a big deal to some people because quite frankly we live in a sex-saturated world, and in every corner of the media in our daily life sexual immorality is being normalized. But I know that the creator of we sexual beings didn’t intend for it to be this way. Well come along with me on my own journey of how the Lord set me free from pornography. 

It all started when I was in SS3 (don’t know what grade this is in comparison to an american high school but this was my last year of high school) a classmate of mine had a porn video on his phone, and yeah I was well aware of what porn was, but had never watched it before. So myself, the classmate with the video and a few other classmates went to somewhere quiet in the school building and we started watching the video, my initial reaction was disgust simply because I didn’t like the way the girl was being treated in the video so I left them there and just went about my day, but guys I am a visual person which made it very difficult for me to unsee what I had seen. And soon my curiosity kicked in and the enemy gladly fed on that and by the age of 15 I started watching porn. 

There was a gap of a three months after that day before I eventually watched porn again and most of it was because I hadn’t had the means to watch it but y’all when I say I am a visual person, it means I didn’t need to actually watch porn to see porn. My mind and the thought going on in my head was enough.

I was capable of mentally stripping a random cute guy in the bus naked and mentally having sex with him and this happened over and over again so when I say I don’t need to watch porn to see porn I mean it.

My struggle wasn’t just with physical porn, it was also mental porn. My mind was already fed something it shouldn’t have been fed and that seed was slowly beginning to grow. That went on for as long as I can remember and then I eventually stumbled on another pornographic video and so my visual mind for sexual immorality grew. It didn’t take long for me to begin to explore the different pornography websites. I even had more luxury when I came to college. Living on my own made it easier for me to explore more.

 

I would search for all kinds of pornography video and slowly but surely masturbation kicked in. At every opportunity I got to watch porn I did and at the end of it, I always pleasured myself. This went on for almost 4 years and every time it happened I will tell the Lord I was sorry and ask for forgiveness it got to a point I told the Lord to take my life if I ever watched porn again…. Yeah… I can’t imagine the look on his face.

After years of struggling I was tired, felt dirty, worthless and just disgusted with myself.

 I decided to seek help but a part of me was too ashamed to seek help from anybody so I started looking online for ways to overcome temptation, and some of the things I found worked for a while but didn’t last long. But the good thing about God is when you start searching he meets you just where you are (Matthew 7:7). Once my heart was searching Jesus made sure to meet me exactly where I was.

 I think it was one afternoon when I was with a friend and she just asked me if I will follow her to church and every fiber in me was like heck yeah at least I wouldn’t have to go home and be idle and the thought of watching porn creeping up on me. 

And so we were off to church it was my first time being in that church so I didn’t know anyone except my friend and as soon as the youth pastor was speaking it was like God was speaking right to my heart and every lie that I had believed about myself was replaced with the words of Jesus and then an alter call was made for you to re-dedicate your life to Jesus and we were also encouraged to confess our sin with the person praying for us if you felt comfortable, I struggled with that for a while but as soon as I did the weight I was carrying was lifted and for the first time in a long time I felt free and so I was prayed for and felt so happy but I wish I could say my struggle ended here.

After that night I had for sure re-dedicated my life to Jesus but I had no idea what next to do and how to pursue Jesus so I occasionally would watch porn and I slowly began to get back into the habit but guys the pleasure I had always gotten when I previously watched porn wasn’t there anymore so it all felt like a waste of time. 

And because of the disgusting feeling I felt I started taking more actions to stopping myself from watching porn, 

- like surrounding myself with people that I knew were chasing after God, 

-sleeping over at my friend’s place simply because the only time I could watch porn was in my quiet room and my private space, so I decided to have no private space and that meant me not sleeping at home for as long as possible and honestly I didn’t mind at all. I also greatly filtered the movies, shows and songs I was feeding myself because guys what you take in does matter. If you are listening to songs that the lyrics is very sexual your mind is bound to think of sexual things even when you don’t do it consciously. And no I am not saying you should only listen to gospel music or watch only gospel movie but if you want your mind to be free of raunchy thought then you have to do the needful. 

One of the steps I also took was if at all I am alone and the temptation to watch porn comes I instead physically say it out “devil you have no place in my mind, heart and body and thank you for reminding me to worship” and I instantly start praying, reading my bible or worshipping and guys the porn I would watch twice a day, became twice a month, once in three months to utterly disgust at the thought of it alone.

When your love for Jesus becomes greater than your love for pleasing yourself and having the freedom you think you have in yourself, you then find true freedom in Jesus Christ – Grace Ikpidoo Akinsanya.

I just had an hhhhmmmnnnnnn moment (if you know you know).

Guys when I say I found victory over pornography I mean it. I don’t think I expressed myself enough as I would love to do in this post. I don’t care what stage you are in your sexual immorality, I don’t care how far or deep you think you have gone, Jesus that set me free is more than able and willing to set you free, all you have to do is acknowledge that you need him. His love doesn’t condemn, it redeems. So why don’t you give him a chance. Run to Christ and watch him set you free.

I will be more than welcome to share more with you. If you feel like reaching out to me please do. My email is ikpidooabasi2@gmail.com. Also if you want to be anonymous feel free, I don’t need to know you, Jesus already knows you. You can comment below and ask questions if you have any. If not, until next time. Peace!!!!!