My Body Is Not A Sexual Object

Olatoun’s Story:

I was walking home from work, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a blue top when I noticed this car driving so close to me and so I looked in the car’s direction to figure out why the driver was driving so slowly but most importantly so close to me. Only for me to notice the driver who was a man probably in his thirties looking at me seductively and stretching out his left hand in attempt to grabbing my wrist while saying “omo ele, (pretty girl) come let me take you home” I withdrew my hand before he could reach for my wrist and responded thank you sir but I am fine. He went ahead and said “don’t call me sir, you can just call me Femi” I responded with a straight face saying Mr. Femi thanks for offering me a ride but I am fine. By this time some people in the street had noticed us and I remember hearing one of the guys on the street shouting “sister eyin na e wole e ye sako” (girl why don’t you just get in the car and stop being so difficult to get) I was so disgusted that I shouted “se mo jo asewo loju yi ni” (do I look like a prostitute to you) and I started walking as fast as I could just to get away from that surrounding. The Mr. Femi guy followed me for a while but gave up and drove off after I kept on ignoring him.

Funmi’s Story (my story):

I don’t remember exactly when I started having these thoughts but I was nineteen years old when I realized my body wasn’t beautiful at all or to be more precise I realized my body was not the definition of what society deemed as beautiful and the fact that I was absorbed in the bondage of pornography didn’t help at all because it wasn’t long till I began to think to myself if only I had their kind of body (the bodies of the porn actresses). My body was nothing compared to all the images I had consumed through pornography and the ones society had shown to be beautiful so I concluded in my head that I was not good enough for any boy to like me. This didn’t bother me as much because of my introverted nature and I wasn’t liking anybody at that time so I didn’t have any need to seek any validation from anybody (or maybe in reality Jesus was just protecting me). But looking back on all of that and all the different stories I have heard from friends I can’t help but wonder why a woman’s body has been so sexually objectified that most people don’t even deem us as beautiful if we don’t appeal to their definition of beautiful. The worst part, we women ourselves have allowed our mind to be shaped by this brutal definition and have self-objectified ourselves, we see ourselves as less of a human and more of an object. And we look down on this temple of the most high and allow our mind to think less of it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

The spirit of the lord lives within your body, which makes your body a temple. You are not your own as Christ has bought you with a price. When you recognize that you have been bought with a price, a price that cost someone’s life, everything changes.

And I know we live in a world where almost everything we see or hear preaches the women are sexual object message (even when advertising for men cologne a woman is mostly always the center of the appeal, like seriously!!!)  but we need to take ownership of that definition again, we need to do the defining. We need to dictate to the world how we want to be perceived. And as simple as this might sound it requires action.

Dear Men, (men that this apply to)

I am more than just a sexual object you are probably imagining pleasing you in your head. There is more to this body. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a woman of substance, my beauty is not limited to the way I look, talk or walk. I am not perfect but I am perfect in my imperfections. I can go on and on but you probably won’t get the message until you deal with the idea in your head that has made you seen women as nothing more than a sex appealing object. So the next time you see a woman and those thought come to your head try dealing with them and maybe you will begin to see a WOMAN.

Dear Women, (women that this apply to)

We really need to do better, if we want to be respected and treated like the jewels we are, we have to present something worth respecting. We cannot act and carry ourselves like less than and be expected to be treated as more than. Remember the queen you are, and act like one.