WHAT WOULD I/YOU CHOOSE?
Constantly looking to my past and blaming myself for whatever trials my present, present me with. As a Christian my bible tells me since I am in Christ old things has past away behold the new has come. And for some seconds, hours, days or weeks my heart will be joyful and rejoice in those words. Holding them dear to my heart like it’s all I’ve got. But in a split second that rejoicing is quickly overwhelmed with doubts, disappointment, fear and unbelief and I find myself right back at where I started. Sometimes and in this case doing more things that can further distance me from the joy and rejoicing I just slipped from or better put distance myself from the source of the joy, who is Jesus. At this phase, something in me knows I should be fighting for that joy, seeking to dwell in that joy, searching for the giver of that joy but I absolutely have no desire to do that, my heart doesn’t even want to thirst for that desire. All I want to do is dwell in this unwanted phase because it fe...